Can't Seem to Stop Trying to Kill Myself

January 17th, 2018; WUW

It's that time again gents. Here I am bearing all manner of gifts but only for the ones that seek me out. Guess I'm pretty selfish like that. Maybe instead of "What's Up" it should be "Selfish." Too bad it just doesn't quite have the same ring to it. So what's new right? That's what this is. I'm pretty low. Might even have to change my name. Nothing really new there. But just sending it out. Oh, wait. My bad. "The Secret" is that what I put out is what I will get back. Crap I must be putting out disgust and hatred. Maybe that's why I'm so low. Maybe that's why I keep making these self-destructive decisions again and again. Or maybe I'm just crazy. Well, definitely I'm crazy but yeah. Maybe in more ways than the one.

I'm just so tired again. Or maybe not again. Maybe I just never felt rested and have just gotten accustomed to the weight. The burden. Why can't I shake the fire and brimstone future whenever I gaze outward? Why am I doing this now? Putting this out here now? Oh, yeah. Time capsule. This is my suicide letter. This whole blog. I shouldn't be so presumptuous. I'd have to succeed at something I've dreamt about first before I could start acting as though I know anything. This is so depressing. Why do I even bother? Five more years. Let's see how it all goes.

Thanks for listening. To the voice in yourself that read these words. Take care. Go with peace and love and happiness and kindness and the desire to live. Sure, the desire to live. Alright secret, hit me back all kinds of 180. Late...