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8FEB13 "318"

I am absolutely miserable.

I don’t know what else to say. I don’t think there is anything else that should be said.

I went on this long tirade a few hours ago and lost it all to a malfunctioning computer. Such circumstances made this just that much more frustrating until I realized the best place to start was the end.

I don’t know how to let go of myself. I fear that the void it’d create would engulf me whole. I feel so alone. The superficial relationships I’ve formed up to now have been little other than distractions from the fact that I haven’t been able to connect with anyone, truly, in years. I need help.

I’ve always been different. I know there have to be others out there like me though. I just have to live long enough to find one. If I could just find that one, it’d make everything worth it. That’s what I’ve been holding on to all this time. If there were just something out there that could save me. Love me. Maybe it was all about love. Or maybe I should just accept this is it.

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