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10JAN13 "Wright"

I kind of have to do an update at this point. My likes have reached that “magic number.” It’s pretty late though and I do have to be up fairly early so this is probably going to suck a bit more than usual. Sorry.

I realized, no more than within the last 10 minutes, that it was never about the physical intimacy. I’m referring to the girl, of course. Anyway, so yeah, it was never about that. Of course I found her attractive. Hell, most people found her attractive. But it wasn’t so much about that as it was what she represented. Or rather, what the successful pursuit of her would represent.

A way to foster an emotional intimacy. Something I’ve felt has been lost to me over the better part of a decade. Hmm, let me rephrase. What has been on a steady decline for me over the better part of just over a decade. She still holds that fire and if I give in to the remnants she can still reside as a muse but I wonder if there’s any point. This really just comes down to right or wrong. I’m not what see’s looking for. I don’t have it in me to pretend otherwise. So why not use what she offers until it fades into the black? She wouldn’t even have to be aware really. So, why not?

Because it’s not his way. I took up his resolve and even at the cost of my own existence I will do what I must to uphold his way. I guess, I already have my answer.

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